Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it glows. i had to have it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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