Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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