Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize