Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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