Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
