VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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