So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
