Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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