I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Found your dick twin last night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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