i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
