I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?