dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
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I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
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The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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