Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
