this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
