we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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