i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize