About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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