Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
