He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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