I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
