He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You are a genius and a whore.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
