eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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