Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
