that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
