This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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