Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
