YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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