We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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