I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
