TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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