the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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