I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
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Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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