Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
