Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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