garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
