My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
