he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
false alarm, still single
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