its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
