So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
