Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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