Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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