He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
