Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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