He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
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am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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