he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
