Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
