worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
