she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
