whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
