There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
