i think my mom watched the whole time
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
