i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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