woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize