fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Someone came in the potted fern
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
