Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
A+ Viking dick
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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