It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
