the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
