I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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