Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
