Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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