i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
