we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
