so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
