Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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