I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
ok first of all what the fuck
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