some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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