the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
