there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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