Umm I'm too high to move.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
